last sunday, i went to bed at around 7am and had to wake up at 10am to prepare for my papa's burial. but i woke up late, it was 11:30 i guess... when i arrived at the funeral hom, there were lots of people already, waiting to transfer my papa's remains to the funeral car, for the mass at the church at 2pm... we started walking by quarter to 2pm to the church... then after the mass, i was called to say my speech... i hesitated to go in front, 'coz my sister and i agreed that id be doin the speech and she would be reading it... ayway, i stil was the one who spoke.... was so hard to speak 'coz i couldnt stop my tears from flowing... the reason also why i stood up there for the speech was to impart what i really wanna say re my papa and i's realationship... it wasnt in the speech i made (well, actually my bestFUCK did most of the work)'coz as i said my sister was supposed to read it... i didnt want my piece to be held forever.... so i told them... i also didnt want to regret for not standing up there as the eldest child and speak in behalf of my family... actually, i had not said everything i wanted... i forgot some of it... the best ones...
from the church, we went to manila memorial where he would be buried... we walked from the entrance until to the spot where my father would be placed last... that time was very emotional for us... it was hard to say goodbye to papa... especially when the time had come to seal the coffin under the ground... i held papa's hand before they sealed it... oh, i also included the paper where i wrote the speech when i threw the flower...
all throughout the event mama cried... the least that i thought i could do was to be by her side... i tried not to cry... to show that i was strong.... for my mama at least... but my tears were flowing then... but i still managed to held back... that was on the way to the church and on the way to the spot where my papa is now buried.....
i tried to bring out all my tears as i was there for the last glance of my papa... but i wasnt successful... nevertheless, at least i tried to make up w/ papa....'coz i wanted to get rid all the bitterness in me then... i wanted to put an end to our issue... i just hope papa got my message.... was happy from then on... mas magaan ang pakiramdam....
after the burial we went to eat merienda at mcdo, a treat by my tito and tita for their bday... then we went to paranaque to my tita's place for dinner... we stayed there until dawn... the reason why i slept the whole day.. and only now that i had the time to write this...
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was checkin my mails... was happy for the mails i got...... and was excited to reply back....
but...... got suspicious w/ what ive seen.... they made me think of negative things.... m i just paranoid or what???
grrrr.... i hate this feeling...... grrrr.............
oh, i forgot... i went out w/ ritz for dinner last nyt... after dinner, we parted ways and headed home... i tripped... i walked the stretch of pasay road til i reached evangelista... hehehe... from there i took a jeepney and was headed hom... suddenly, i felt the urge not to go hom ryt away... so went to mini stop and bought some snacks... i also bought my family pasalubong... then i walked hom.... again... hehehe
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