What could be worse???

yesterday.... when i woke up to take a bath and go dressed for a meeting after lunch, i heard a commotion... at first, i thought there was just a fight b/w my aunts (a not-so-unusual thing for them), but when i heard my mama screamed, actually more of a moan, i was alarmed... it was my papa..... he got his 3rd heart attack.... as they rushed him to the nearest hospital, i was so distorted as to what i should do... until one of my lolas asked me to pack some clothes for my papa… I thought everything would be fine, because she asked me to bring those clothes for my papa’s recovery… but when I arrived at the hospital, I was so surprised when I saw my mom crying…. That was when I learned that nothing was okay….. until the time when the attendants asked for some medicine to be bought outside the hospital (by the way, the hospital is a cheap one… it lacks facilities and medicine, not to mention the incompetent employees)…. When the important medicine couldn’t be found, my father was sooo in pain and was dying…. Not so long, when he had his last breath….

what happened next??? of course my family and other relatives cried... i tried my best to be contain what i was feeling... i didnt want to let my family see me shedding tears... but when i heard my mama say "...sabihin mo sa kanila ayoko ng makakita ng mga BULAKLAK para sa papa mo..." that triggered me to do what i didnt want to do... i cried... but not as freely as what my emotion let me feel... i still tried to stop...... me and my siblings were there until the funeral home got the remains of papa from the hospital... then my siblings, w/ my tita, went out to buy barong for my papa.... i couldnt join becasue i went to the client soon after we arrived hom......

oh, btw, today is a special day for me...... so absuird.... haaaay.....