what's new??? same old self...???

in the middle of our shift, it came across my mind my pessimistic self... i gauged how pessimistic i am towards things... I AM... BIG TIME... i actually tried to imagine myself as changin myself to being optimistic... well, it would be a different me... but a better me..... i decided to start to change.... i know its hard, but i have to.... to become a better "personality" (as per rojan... hehehe)..... but as i write now, i cant help but think if i really could do it (i mean, i can but would i be successful?) considering some factors that triggers me to be such???

as i was seated here in front of my pc from 4:45am, i couldnt think of anything to write... but as i heard my mom w/ her daily homily, but now its different, i knew wat to write... i dint like what she said... and before that incident, she kinda told me something also, which i didnt like... which, made me thought again of my pessimistic self..... actually, i had not finished thinking.... havent resolved it.... couldnt weigh things over.... as of now, i m still who and what i am... i still am my old same self.... haaaay....

waaaaaaaa!!!!! i hate to think!!!! i hate to feel what m feeling now!!!! not only w/ wat ive written, but w/ OTHERS as well!!!